The Marriage Plot

By Sharon Jackson

“When Elizabeth Weil and Dan Duane married  in July 2000, they made a straightforward pact; no cheating, no dying. Other less dramatic problems might lie on the horizon, like money (both are writers) and religion (she’s Jewish, he’s not).  Over time, neither of these issues created difficulties, but nine years and two daughters later Weil came up with the idea of improving their good marriage by undertaking a year of marital-skills improvement- a project she wrote about for The New York Times Magazine. Reluctantly, her husband agreed to the plan, even though both were aware of an old saying, “If you’re going to poke around the bushes, you’d better be prepared to scare out some snakes.” Click here, to continue reading, “The Marriage Plot; No Cheating, No Dying.

Licensed Psychotherapist, Linda Garcia-Rose has this to say to about whether it’s helpful or can make things worse to try to fix something that ain’t broke: “Some might call it, “….scrupulous, self-imposed scrutiny,” others might call it a journey of self-actualization.  Many people come to therapy only when they are in crisis.  Quite often, when their relationship is past the point-of-no-return.  Therefore, I find the reasoning that Weil and Duane go in search of improving their, “good marriage” to be exciting.  Just like a professional musician or athlete, training to perform even better.

“The issue I have from a therapeutic perspective is that they do not seem to persevere in any one treatment. I encourage clients to shop for a therapist and/or method which works for them.  However, therapy is a process not a quick fix or flavor of the day.  Frequently, issues and emotions may be energized and exacerbated as part of this process.  Meaning it often gets worse before it gets better!”

Like Elizabeth Weil, I believe anything can be better, and for some relationships it may be a good idea to get down and dirty and dig up all those issues that are getting in the way of having a healthy or healthier connection with your mate, by seeing a therapist.  Who wouldn’t want a more loving, supportive, and closer relationship with their partner?

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